Attending a Silent Ignatian Retreat

Three days of sacred silence with a group of Catholic women.

A silent retreat in rural Iowa wasn’t on my bucket list a year ago. However, when I received the email announcing the “Silent Ignatian Retreat for Women,” scheduled for November 2024, my response was an immediate and enthusiastic YES. Over the past year, I have learned to discern my inclinations, and in this instance, I am profoundly grateful that I did.

“Silence is God’s first language.”

-St. John of the Cross, a 16th-century mystic

Retreat Overview

This is what I knew when I submitted the registration:

• The Retreat location - Creighton University Retreat Center in Griswold, Iowa.

• A Spiritual Director (whom I had met in KC two years ago) would present reflections and offer a variety of ways to “sink into a deeper conversation with God” through Ignatian contemplation, nature, poetry, and other forms of prayer.

• Time would be spent “seeking the grace to recognize and savor God's gentle and nurturing love.”

• Attendees would have plenty of time to “enjoy rhythms of quiet reflection and prayer, wandering in nature, journaling, and other creative expressions.”

• I would have the opportunity to meet with a Spiritual Director, participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession), and attend Mass. Meals, as well as the rest of the days, would be in prayerful silence.

• Check-in was on a Thursday before dinner, and the retreat would conclude on Sunday afternoon, after lunch.

Ignatian spirituality is a Catholic spiritual tradition founded on the experiences and teachings of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the 16th-century Spanish saint who founded the Jesuit order. Jesuits are not separate from Catholics but are a specific order within the Catholic Church. Ignatian spirituality emphasizes finding God in all things and cultivating a deeper relationship with Jesus through reflection, discernment, and active engagement with the world. It is known for its practicality and adaptability to everyday life, making it accessible to people seeking to deepen their spiritual journey.

On Being Protestant and “Young”

As I look back, signing up solo for this experience feels borderline impulsive, mostly because I’m not Catholic or Jesuit. It didn’t occur to me that my Protestant faith could even be a consideration until I had already checked in and introduced myself to several women. When I realized at dinner Thursday night that I was likely the only Protestant in attendance, my chance to bail had already sailed.

As I sat down at the table with my plate of lasagna, everyone began to move their hands in unison in the sign of the cross, fingers flying over foreheads, hearts, and shoulders. Before I could even consider what I was doing, and feeling discomfort rise in my chest, I mirrored the other women. This is what we do before we eat, obviously.

It hadn’t occurred to me that I could be the only Protestant. I have Protestant friends in Kansas City who are very engaged with Ignatian Spirituality. It should have dawned on me, but in reality, it was God’s grace that it didn’t until *this* very moment at the dinner table.

I didn’t say anything about this to the women at my table. This was the one dinner we could speak at, and I didn’t want to out myself before the Retreat had even begun. We were told silence would begin after supper, and I enjoyed the time during the meal getting to know the other women.

Of the 30 women in attendance, there were three other women within five years of my age, and thankfully, one of them, Cassidy, was seated at my dinner table. Having her at my table reassured me that I wasn’t crazy for coming. Had I been the only woman under 50 AND the only Protestant? Forget about it. At the end of the retreat, an older woman (likely in her 70s) came to our table to tell Cassidy and me that she was very encouraged to see “younger” women at the Retreat. Of course, hearing from women farther along in life was a gift for us, too, and the wisdom they shared was hard-earned and true.

We were asked to sit at the same spots throughout the remaining meals and conferences. At a silent retreat, it is easier to know if someone goes missing when the person next to you doesn’t change, even if you aren’t talking. It’s wild what you can learn about someone over ten meals, eight conferences, and three worship services without exchanging words.

The Details: Meals, Mass, and Conferences

Two cooks prepared the meals daily: a hearty breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Food was served cafeteria-style in a dining hall, and everything was quite good. I had packed Larabars and apples in case the food was subpar. It wasn’t. It didn’t hurt that dessert was served with every meal, too.

The Chapel at The Creighton University Retreat Center

Mass confirmed my belief that I was the only Protestant in attendance. The schedule indicated that we would attend Mass three times throughout the Retreat. On one hand, I was hesitant to go since I was an outsider. On the other hand, I was grateful to experience it with such a compassionate group of women. On Friday morning, as Mass approached, I waited until the last moment to head toward the chapel, slipping quietly through the heavy wooden doors. Seeking anonymity and a quick escape route, I settled into a seat at the end of the back row, my heart carrying a blend of anticipation and curiosity.

As a Protestant, my only prior exposure to Catholic services had been my grandparents' funerals. Attending my first Mass felt like entering unfamiliar spiritual territory. When the time for the Eucharist arrived, I watched as every woman processed forward to receive the bread and wine, acutely aware that I should remain seated.

In addition to Mass, this Retreat offered eight conferences led by a spiritual director held directly beneath the chapel in a meeting room. Each conference had a topic for reflection centered around a Bible verse. Sessions also highlighted a specific Grace from God that participants were to seek through prayer and contemplation. Conference 1 focused on Matthew 11:28, and we were invited to seek the Grace “To be large-hearted and generous toward God.”

“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest.”

-Matthew 11:28

In this post, I delve deeper into my experience, sharing insights and a memorable story about my first formal confession with a priest who turned out to be somewhat of a celebrity in the Catholic world. As a naive Protestant, I had no idea I was pouring my heart out to a renowned musician.

“In the silence of the heart God speaks. If you face God in prayer and silence, God will speak to you…”

-Mother Teresa

While this was my first silent retreat, it wasn’t my first encounter with Ignatian Spirituality. Last spring, I was paired with a prayer guide from the Ignatian Spirituality Center of KC, and it was a transformative experience. If you’d like to read more, I shared a bit about my experience in the post below.